A Pathetic Piece of Cheesy Shit

It has been 4 years counted, almost exactly.

You know, that very first time we met, I never thought that it would be like this. Some people came and gone, but there's always been you on each phases. You're like a barrier from Chapter 1 to 2. My friends couldn't understand what's so good about you that you ALWAYS came up after I closed one book. You don't have that charm, that will make all girls melt down. You don't have that cute face, that will make all girls stare at you for the whole day and night. You didn't do sweet things, that will make any other girls get jealous with me. You have that stuff that unseen, hard to understand and difficult to feel. You have that stuff that make me see you in a different way. But I don't even know what the hell is that thing. I'm feeling like trapped in a magic spell, but I really don't believe at things like that.

Frankly, I'm tired pretending to be strong from you. Help you get straight to a better way of your life, lovelife mainly. Listen to your problems, try to solve them. All this time, I pretend this feeling because I felt good when you needed me. I'm feeling like a goddamn cheesy girl with common teen's thoughts. But seriously, this is disturbing. And I had no one to tell, new friends won't understand, old friends got bored, you... impossible. And gosh, I quit pretending. I cried last night reminding how pathetic I am, trying to figure out what's so special about you made me wanting you without any movement, watching you happy with your bunnies, giving you solutions, getting you up when you're down. Gosh, I'm on the top of the pathetic shits.

I have no such an idea about how easy you slipped into my life and stay there not only for a while but for a whole century! Well, I don't hope so, 4 years are more than enough. I almost regret to meet you, I mean, if we didn't meet I wouldn't be as messed as today. I am messed, dude. I don't know why. I'm tired of being this side of me. Silence doesn't help, but speak up ain't a good idea. You know, I've often forthright, and it was always me right? I've lost my self-regard just to make situation better, either way make me feel better. But you always came in another bad times. But then you gone. And not so far after it you came. I'm not experienced that well, you green ugly thing, I don't know what to do facing this situation.

Frankly, I felt good sitting next to you in your car. I felt good listening to your stories all night long, and maybe that's why I always have no stories to tell. I felt good hearing you sing or making weird voices on the phone. I felt good to always been there when you need. I felt good to always wait anytime you'll turn around. But I don't feel good feeling it, you got it? And I don't know what am I supposed to do. Maybe I'll just go.




P.S. If you read it, don't say a word.
P.P.S. My friends will laugh at me writing this cheesy post. Go laugh at it -_-